I have always heard things about how it "takes a village" to raise your kids. I had always been one of the people who thought..How? and Why? I always thought to myself, I could do it on my own..I wouldn't need help. I always associated asking for help or needed help as a weakness. I didn't want to ask anyone for help because I didn't want people to look down on me or think I couldn't handle it.
...but now I just sit back and laugh at myself and wonder why I ever though asking for help was a bad thing? Why did I associate it with weakness?
Becoming a mom has shown me even when I ask for help..or a break..or if I have an emotional breakdown. I am okay and I am for sure not weak.
H is going on 3 months. I won't lie, in the beginning I was reluctant to ask for help, to admit that I was tired or that I needed something. I would get mad when people gave me advice or offered to help me. I worried what people would think if I had a babysitter so I could go do something, I worried what people would think when I went back to work full time, I was worried constantly how people would view me.
It took me a little bit and I wouldn't say I am completely there but I know now asking for help is not a weakness. The line "It takes a Village" is not a joke. We don't have to do all this alone. We have the most amazing village behind us. We can always depend on all our people.
I have learned that it's okay to ask for help and to admit that I need it sometimes. It's okay to be overwhelmed, but I have to know my limits and know when I need to ask for help. It doesn't make me any less of a great mother to my child or a wife to my husband by asking for help or needing a break. I have learned that while some people may have other intentions with their advice giving, my village does not. They do not mean any thing in a malicious way. I have to learn to accept the advice, I do not have to follow the advice if I don't agree with it, because I am still the parent, but I have to be willing to accept the advice and the help. (I'm still working on this one)
I fully understand why it takes a village and that it is not a weakness to need help or want the help. Some kids aren't blessed with their grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins being so involved in their lives. I am thankful that my daughter has the opportunity to get to know her family and them get to know her. More people to love her.
From watching her while Austin and I are at work, picking her up from the sitter's when we have to work late or just coming to our house to watch her for a few hours while we get some work done. Helping with laundry and house work and cooking meals for us, it all makes a huge difference and we wouldn't want to do this journey without any of our family members or friends.
I am thankful for our village.
So to all the other Momma's out there. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to admit you're tired. It is okay to need your village. You are not weak. You are a great mother. Give yourself a break every now and then. Take a deep break, relax. YOU GOT THIS!
It took me a little bit and I wouldn't say I am completely there but I know now asking for help is not a weakness. The line "It takes a Village" is not a joke. We don't have to do all this alone. We have the most amazing village behind us. We can always depend on all our people.
I have learned that it's okay to ask for help and to admit that I need it sometimes. It's okay to be overwhelmed, but I have to know my limits and know when I need to ask for help. It doesn't make me any less of a great mother to my child or a wife to my husband by asking for help or needing a break. I have learned that while some people may have other intentions with their advice giving, my village does not. They do not mean any thing in a malicious way. I have to learn to accept the advice, I do not have to follow the advice if I don't agree with it, because I am still the parent, but I have to be willing to accept the advice and the help. (I'm still working on this one)
I fully understand why it takes a village and that it is not a weakness to need help or want the help. Some kids aren't blessed with their grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins being so involved in their lives. I am thankful that my daughter has the opportunity to get to know her family and them get to know her. More people to love her.
From watching her while Austin and I are at work, picking her up from the sitter's when we have to work late or just coming to our house to watch her for a few hours while we get some work done. Helping with laundry and house work and cooking meals for us, it all makes a huge difference and we wouldn't want to do this journey without any of our family members or friends.
I am thankful for our village.
So to all the other Momma's out there. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to admit you're tired. It is okay to need your village. You are not weak. You are a great mother. Give yourself a break every now and then. Take a deep break, relax. YOU GOT THIS!
Until the next dash,
Momma Spice*
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